"A MAN bitten on the penis by a deadly snake has told how he used a cold rum can to soothe the pain while he rang his mother to say a final goodbye. “I thought I was gone,” Daryl Zutt said of his now notorious encounter with a brown snake during a roadside toilet stop in remote far north Queensland, The Cairns Post reported. “I thought, ‘Maybe, this is it. Maybe, I’m gonna cark it’.”
The Cairns Post revealed details of the bizarre encounter two weeks ago but the identity of the victim remained unknown until Mr Zutt came forward to tell how the brown snake took a near-fatal swipe as he relieved himself. “I squatted down … I reckon I must’ve nearly sat on his head,” he said. “As soon as I felt it, I yelled.
“It really hurt. “When it happened, I knew in the back of my mind it was a snake. “I seen him coming out from between my legs.” He said he tried to remain calm as he inspected the damage. “He got me about halfway down,” he said. “I saw fang marks and a bit of blood come out.” Mr Zutt’s friend drove him to a medical centre before he was moved to a hospital for further tests which showed he was not envenomated. “They’ve been saying things like ‘It was a trouser snake fight’ and ‘He (the snake) saw the competition and got scared’,” Mr Zutt said. “Once they knew I was right, the jokes came out.”
And the joke: So the doctor tells his friend, “If you want to save his life, you need to suck the poison out.” His friend nods, and hangs up the cell phone. Aussie asks his friend “What did the doctor say?” Friend looks at him ominously and says, “Your going to die mate”.